Much About Me

…with Some Beautiful Tangents

Hi you reading, I’m Dani

I’m a practicing Artist and Doula. 

Birth work and Artistry serve creating, serve the continual cycles of transformation: this allowance of death into being born again something freer and more willing than before. Both serve the healing process. No matter how expressed, all of life is creative, is the artist, is the birther. (See more of creative process below)

Social Understandings and Some Life Beliefs

I identify as a gender nonconforming woman. I use she/they/it pronouns. I view being a gender nonconforming woman as not upholding or believing in the construct of gender binaries, while having the socially described experience of womanhood. “It” pronoun embodies my belief in the interconnectivity of everything. I find “It” to be a powerful reclamation of what english speaking society doesn’t often name in reverence or leaves to obscurity. Historically people have even used “it” at times to purposefully show what they thinks has less worth. Which much of the time lacks inclusion of all but human and some animals. “It” holds, too, an in-between space. The liminal of understanding. “It” then encompasses all else our beautiful and heartbreaking world is that isn’t greater acknowledge: the moss, the insects, the emotions gone un-described, what we yet to know. To recognize “It”, is recognizing I Am no different from every aspect of life, from what is undisclosed to us. This world builds me, creates me. Seeing what all “It” is, the small the large the equal, includes me. Is powerful to me. I am It, too.

My life is in the service of connection, radical love, radical truth, and anti-oppression. This hope includes being a heart-led disruptor, disruptor of harmful systemic and societal status-quos and those who perpetuate them.

Anti-oppression including but not limited to, Anti: racism, sexism and patriarchy, trans + queer phobia, capitalism/colonialism/imperialism, whiteness and white supremacy, policing, perfectionism, mentally “ill” discrimination, speciesism, and saviorism. 

Anti-oppression first and foremost means calling out my own privilege and internalized white supremacy. And taking accountability where I have failed and may fail again. In anti-oppression, I believe abolition, not reform, is necessary.

I’m an ardent intersectional feminist. Though I state that I am a feminist I try not to use the terms “masculine and feminine” in everyday language. I find they can emphasize the binary construct of certain traits being rooted in one’s sex organs or gender identity. And I don’t believe in traits being tied to such. I note this not judging anyone else for finding inclusive empowerment in these terms. As on my path, feeling divine in femininity was an important acknowledgement and step. I try to more often use yin or yang when denoting certain energies. And, too, instead of using “masc or femme” to describe, asking myself deeper, “what do I mean?” What attributes am I actually acknowledging in my mind and could more specifically announce?

My hope in this lifetime continues to be, someone free, free from any puppet strings and the fears such strings hold to. May I truly be the leader of my will, honest in my spirit. And tend to community that hopes the same. We are fragments of our whole without dear community.

I’m alive to befriend wounds, certainly my own. Love them, not fix or excuse them. But bear witness to the pains and traumas that bore them and be a friend. This dear process is life long and tender.

In tending to relationships I care for dearly, I believe Kindness is far more radical and understanding than nicety. Nicety serves elitism, serves how we are supposed to behave under an oppressive ruling class. And Kindness at heart, serves the one we Love. In this, it offers truth, which is not always polite or “nice”. But can be brutal, even with tact. It is something the spirit needs to hear to know its greatest freedom. Kindness answers, when nice is afraid. Nicety serves comfort in the face of a lie, and kindness gives the truth, or at least how it understands it. 

I believe everyone deserves Love. To be included, given affection, their stories heard.

continues

My Many Excessive Joys and Loves

I enjoy confronting fears and my shadowy spaces, even when, especially when, this leaves me uncomfortable or uncertain. This difficult moment serves as a seed of transformation and exposure, my spirit needs to thrive. I enjoy sharing my sensuality and expressing the form of my body. To do this is a radical act beyond the abuse I’ve encountered. I will not be willed into shame of myself, or taught against my beauty. I know sensual expression to be the external story of self reverence, worth and remembering of spirit. I love to snuggle and be thrown over a shoulder. I enjoy acting absurd and goofy.  I enjoy laughing boldly with strangers and friends. I enjoy laughing at my friends, too. I enjoy talking about bowel movements and sending poop pictures to my sister. I think she also enjoys this? I enjoy selfies on the toilet, my porcelain throne. Large tears that stream freely down my face are the best; when I’m awake to life and so affected. And, too, feeling free enough to throw my body loud and jovial. I enjoy this Earth, forever my dearest confidante and friend. All the Magic this home shares, all the wisdom whispered through the ancient forests, all the growth exposed from the top of a mountain, the quiet felt under deep waters. I am forever a branch of awe and play sprouted from under this sky. And I hope and pray, humanity remembers the Earth we are, before we take and miss too much. The Moon is a reflection of phases I use as my greatest sense of time, of what phase I myself, may be moving through. I enjoy my monthly conversations with the Moon when they’re full, and the guidance they deploy. I enjoy a poem, seeing into others this way, and sharing myself this way.  I enjoy the studies of science as I do ritual and magic. I love the unknown, how profound no answer can be. I love the spirituality within the intersection on this space, of science and mystic. I feel at home here, as they work together to bring about a truth. And yes, I can be both a deep and clear intuit and while understanding science and research.

Healing Vessels Along The Way

Trauma therapy including: embodiment+somatics, sensual womb work, EMDR, psycho-therapy, pelvic bowl and vulva manual therapy, grieving boldly with community, intentional spiritual practices, talking with spirit guides, exploration with Earth, and understanding Epigenetics- have been grateful openings in my healing journey both for my mental, spiritual, and physical chronic health. These practices have helped me re-acknowledge safety and refuge in my body. Alleviating anxieties that stem from taught internal distrust. Nutrition, especially towards gut and hormone health, has also been greatly important. My dedication to whole health and trauma work play an integral role in the practices of my life. In art, birth, and embodied work.

Final Note of Current Processes

I’m continually stretching my capacity to share myself and share myself in my agency. I’d more easily swim with great white sharks than offer on a platform my gifts, arts, and what I’m a trusted resource of. Really what I’m continually daring myself to feel through my fears, is, that I inherently belong and have worth no matter what other’s see and decide. My freedom lies in this undoing of others eyes//how I the narration in my mind perceives them.

All I do is in the guidance of transformation. This expansion and curiosity of learning and unlearning.

Big thanks if you made it to this bottom, I love you. Through all the hard, I really do.

My Creative Process

Creating is a beautiful process of allowance. Through which I hear both spirit and the appearance of my fears. Both great teachers. Trusting their encounter with myself, is my healing. Becomes my art. 

I want the process of creating to empower that every part of myself, and yourself, deserves to be expressed. Regardless of where we are in our story. Regardless of what lies perfection tells. Regardless of the shames that want us hidden.

At times anxious blocks and self judgement come into my practice. And I replace myself with begging to belong. I lean into this doubt, 

 “who but me owns my permission?”

 “who am I proving for?” 

no one.

I fail at this openness, and sometimes reach truths, but presence helps no matter. And belonging follows my choice to love myself despite any fear. 

My joy is to experiment and connect with persons and Earth. Giving my hands to stories needing to be told.